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Blog Posts

BE THE BOSS! 5 Steps for Success Influencing Your Legislator.

8/31/2023

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Many of us feel distanced from our legislators. We don’t see them at the supermarket; we know highly paid lobbyists have access to their calendar. In fact, legislators LOVE meeting their constituents. Getting and preparing for a meeting with your legislator is quite similar to - and even easier than – getting and preparing for a job interview.

1. Prepare

Preparing for a meeting with your legislator is simple. As the one calling the meeting, you get to set your agenda.
  • Identify your goal and call to action
  • Research your topic and audience - know their voting history
  • Form a team that will represent your goal well

Similar to a job interview, doing your homework is key to your success. With legislator meetings, you have the bonus of bringing your team of experts with you (wouldn't that be nice for an interview!). Being succinct and clear improves your influence.

2. Set it up

Request your meeting in writing; follow with a phone call. Note your issue (including bill number) and clearly state you are a constituent. Call the day before to confirm your meeting and:
  • Be Polite - Identify yourself and thank the staffer by name
  • Be Patient - Be understanding if they need to reschedule
  • Be Strategic - Get the details you need to arrive on time (parking, what to say at reception, security issues, etc.)

Making a good impression with staff helps your success. Some organizations give employees equal say in hiring decisions. Similarly, most legislators rely on their staff to prioritize their time. Make a good impression for higher priority. In general, legislators love to meet constituents, making getting a meeting with them easier than getting most job interviews.

3. Perform

Greet Staff Respectfully. Set a positive tone with everyone you greet on your visit to ensure your impression is positive.

Introduce yourself to your legislator using your full name and where you are from. Address your legislator by their appropriate title (ask their staff or use this Emily Post list of honorifics). Thank them for their time and for meeting with you.

Create Connection and Be Succinct. You will likely have 10-20 minutes to:
  • Introduce your team
  • Build Connection and Credibility for yourself and your team.
  • Make a Clear Ask

Listen. While you are there to be heard, you will better promote your cause if you also listen well. Ask for your legislator’s thoughts and experience on the topic (think “discussion” rather than “lecture”). Unlike interviewers, legislators will likely share people, places, and experiences with you. Building a positive relationship while succinctly focusing on your key message and asking good questions in an interview helps you land a job. These same skills improve your ability to advocate for your cause.

4. Nail the close

Before leaving, thank those who met with you for their time and the meeting. Leave materials that are easy to comprehend at a glance. Promise to follow up where you can, such as sharing an article or resource. Ensure you have accurate contact information and perhaps permission for a group photo or social media post.

Closing with next steps in mind grows your success with your legislator just as in a job interview. When thanking them, mention what you especially enjoyed learning and how you might follow up on something discussed. These strategies help with interviews, meetings with legislators, and all other interactions.

5. Follow up
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Build on your meeting by following up well. That evening, send a thank you email and follow with a handwritten thank you note. For social media posts:
  • Have permission to post
  • Keep the post positive
  • Make no statements on behalf of your legislator without explicit permission

A thank you that includes promised information, contacts, or resources builds on your positive impression for both interviewers and legislators. When you leave the meeting, you leave an impression that will start to fade. An email within 24 hours creates a ping to that memory that keeps it fresh. The handwritten thank you note provides another ping several days later, keeping you and your cause fresh in their mind. Effective follow up grows connection and keeps your meeting fresh in their memory, maximizing your impact with interviews and legislators alike.

Most legislators love to meet with constituents. Taking steps to make interviews successful directly translate to maximizing your impact with legislators. The added bonuses are that you can bring a team and post on social media. Following these steps will build positive relationship with and increase your influence over your legislators.
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Photo credit: Ramaz Bluashvili
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Say Their Name – It’s Better for You

8/7/2023

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Create your own Gratitude Bump* by using someone’s name when thanking them. Even better, teach your children to do so for these three reasons.

Going back to school invites many opportunities to say “thank you,” to friends, family, neighbors, sitters, childcare centers, coaches, camp counselors, and, of course teachers and staff at your child’s school. We parents benefit from a reminder to “say thank you” to the many in our village who make successful parenting possible. More powerful, however, is the reminder to train our children to say thank you.

The growing body of research on the benefits of expressing gratitude show that training our children to say thank you improves their academic and social success and their mental and physical health. As a parent, I appreciate how saying thank you makes them generally more pleasant to be around!

These benefits comprise the Gratitude Bump* – the improvement to every area of their lives when they express gratitude. The Gratitude Bump* offers immediate and long-term benefits, and is limitless. You can layer Gratitude Bumps* on each other for ever-increasing benefits. You create the Gratitude Bump*, by using four key elements when expressing gratitude. One of these elements is saying someone’s name when thanking them.

Saying someone’s name creates the Gratitude Bump* for three reasons.

1. Magic Words

Your mother might have told you that “please” and “thank you” are the magic words, but there is a special magic in using someone’s name. People like hearing their own name. When you use their name, it is like a magic formula to endear them to you. Dale Carnegie’s famous insight, “A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language,” stresses the value you can create in that moment. That magic lasts in the long-run, too.

Since their name brings strong, positive value to the conversation, you also increase the attention they give you. They will focus more intently on you and what you have to say. Thus, using their name is sort of a call to attention, and is most effective toward the beginning of your expression of gratitude or at any point you want them to listen to you closely:

“Maria, thank you for…”
“Thank you, Sam, for…”
or
“…so what I am saying, Jacinda, is thank you…”

Saying their name directs their attention toward you and creates a positive connotation for what you are saying. The benefit survives the interaction, creating goodwill that lasts in the long-run. For children, this means their teachers, classmates, and community give them better attention in the moment and thinks more positively of them over time.

2. Focus on Gratitude

Saying their name triggers your mind to focus on them. In that moment, your mind focuses on the other person and that you are grateful not for your receiving a gift, service, or kind word, but for their act of doing so for you. Focusing on the other person helps increase the Gratitude BumpTM by turning your focus outside of yourself. According to the UCLA Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior, This shift in thinking creates an immediate positive chemical shift in your brain chemistry that lasts beyond the conversation, providing short-term and long-term benefits.
Most children are ego-centric. Training them at a young age to focus on others helps develop empathy, important for life-long success, and creates a habit of expressing gratitude, which also is important for life-long success.

3. Connection Builds Trust

Saying their name builds trust and connection because they will perceive your expression as being more personal and more sincere than they would if you did not say their name, regardless of your actual level of sincerity. Increasing your personal and sincere communication helps that person hold you in higher esteem for longer, therefore improving your relationship with this friend, colleague, or teacher – yet another way in which using a person’s name in a thank you creates a Gratitude Bump.TM The immediate benefit of perceiving your interaction as more sincere and personal lasts long-term, too.

Teachers and classmates who see your children as more sincere and personal will develop more trust in your children and build stronger relationships with them. Stronger social circles result in stronger academic success and greater satisfaction with school.

A Word of Caution

​One caveat is that, as with all methods of communication, this one can be overdone. Overusing someone’s name tends to come across as sounding insincere or “salesy.” In a short thank you, saying someone’s name once is usually sufficient, and perhaps again as you close your conversation. Use your judgment to ensure you are making this tool part of your natural repertoire rather than adopting a message that sounds formulaic, and when training your children to adopt this element of saying thank you.

Conclusion

Children benefit at least as much as we do from saying someone’s name when expressing gratitude. It helps others focus and makes their attention more positive, puts your children’s mind in a healthy place while building empathy, and builds stronger relationships with teachers and peers. Teach your children to say someone’s name when expressing gratitude. They will create their own Gratitude Bump* to improve every area of their lives both immediately and in the long-run. 
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Can Resource Hoarders Thrive in A Collaborative Work Enviornment?

12/2/2022

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How to Convince Resource-Hoarders to Collaborate.
Ego Gatekeepers and Power Gatekeepers require different handling to change their hoarding behavior. 

Resource-sharing increases productivity and collaboration. Resources such as access to physical or digital space, information, support teams, and cash make collaborative work environments run smoothly. However, some prefer to guard rather than share resources others need to perform.
 
Those who guard resources often want something in exchange for providing access to the resource. They use the resource as currency, creating barriers to access and positioning themselves as gatekeepers. This gatekeeper mentality can clog the wheels of even the smoothest business systems.
 
Understanding the big picture is the key to building a collaborative work environment.
 
In Collaborative Leadership, Oxford Leadership Fellow Thomas J. Hurley notes that shifting from a “me” mindset to a “we” mindset is essential for collaborative work environments. But not all gatekeepers are open to making such a shift.
 
I worked with one multinational corporation that experienced a weekly loss of $40,000 in short-term investment returns so that one field office could save $4,000. Let me explain:
 
At the close of business each day, every field office forwarded its daily cash to the short-term investment group at corporate headquarters. While no single office held enough cash overnight to warrant investing the funds, the dividends were significant when the company pooled those funds to invest.
 
One day, the short-term investment group noticed that one of the field offices was forwarding significantly less money to the pool. In response to their inquiries, the field office manager proudly explained that he had made the office’s financial operations more efficient, realizing significant savings of $4,000 per week.
 
But the $4,000 saved cost the company more than $40,000 in short-term investment returns each week. To rectify the situation, the field office manager would have to dismantle the work he had just completed. How to best approach him with this request depends on whether he is an Ego Gatekeeper or a Power Gatekeeper.
 
Managing Ego Gatekeepers
 
Ego Gatekeepers, as the name implies, focus on building their ego. They want to know that others see them as important, valuable contributors to the organization. They like to think of themselves as indispensable to the organization's success and seek public approval. The most effective way to approach an Ego Gatekeeper with a request is to:

  1. Stroke their ego. Praise the Ego Gatekeeper’s ingenuity in their operational efficiencies; have a few higher-ups recognize what they did. Such recognition feeds their ego by giving them attention while letting them know that others are watching how they respond. Each stroke to their ego provides a dopamine rush. If you are their colleague, the more dopamine hits they associate with you, the more they will want to please you. If you are their supervisor, immediate praise for collaborative behavior will spur more collaborative behavior, especially when given publicly. 
  2. Shift their focus to the bigger picture. After praising what the Ego Gatekeeper did in their field office, reinforce how the company values such ingenuity in its leaders. If someone in their direct vertical chain of command praises them for seeing the big picture, it will help broaden their view. If someone up the chain of command from a parallel group praises them, it reminds them that leaders throughout the organization are watching their behavior.
  3. Thank them for educating corporate leaders. Rather than pointing out that the Ego Gatekeeper hurt the company, praise them for discovering a critical issue. Focus on the idea that everyone learned a lesson from this experience and that they are grateful to the Ego Gatekeeper for enlightening them.
  4. Make them your ambassador. Ask to interview the Ego Gatekeeper for the company newsletter or invite them to speak at a regional meeting to educate other field offices on the need to consider the company’s interests first. Since their well-meaning actions exposed this issue, they can be a great spokesperson. Once they become the center of attention, lauded for doing what was best for the company, they will seek such opportunities to benefit the company in the future.

Managing Power Gatekeepers

 
Power Gatekeepers focus on building and preserving power. They want power over their role and as much power over others as possible. The organization's success does not concern them. The most effective way to approach a Power Gatekeeper with a request is to:
  1. Check Your Assumptions. If you aren’t certain that your employee is a Power Gatekeeper, give them the chance to demonstrate otherwise. They just might surprise you. What looks like a power grab might be insecure behavior. See how they respond to managing their ego first. But don’t beg for their cooperation. Power Gatekeepers take your begging as their power, giving them a dopamine rush that encourages recalcitrance.
  2. Be Mindful of Boundaries. Before confronting the Power Gatekeeper, consider whether the issue at hand treads on what they consider to be their realm. “We” environments threaten a Power Gatekeeper, leading them to dig in their heels. To the Power Gatekeeper, their efficiency is not the problem. The problem is the inefficiency of the other field offices (and the corporation’s tolerance of such inefficiencies), regardless of the financial outcome.
  3. Exercise Your Power. Power gatekeepers respect direct orders from direct superiors (those who have the power to fire them). If your team must deal with a Power Gatekeeper, let them know they have your support. Maintain strong relationships with the Power Gatekeeper’s superiors. Only they will be able to influence the Power Gatekeeper’s behavior. In many cases, you need a power solution to a power problem. The field office manager only responded to direct orders from his superiors to dismantle the new system and resume forwarding more cash to the pool.
  4. Know When You Must Let Them Go. Power Gatekeepers focus on growing their own control, not on what is in the company’s best interests. Some Power Gatekeepers survive in collaborative environments despite their behavior because they are highly skilled or highly productive performers. Such toxic performers bring value to the organization in the short term, but their overall toxicity harms the organization in the long run. Highly competent people will leave rather than continue to work with toxic team members. If you have a Power Gatekeeper in your organization, your best path to success is often letting them go.
 
As organizations grow, the need for collaborative work and resource-sharing grows. Teams that focus on the “we” are essential for long-term success because they share resources to best serve the organization. Team members who cannot move past the “me” mindset and who hoard resources as currency quickly become detrimental to the organization.
 
Managing Ego Gatekeepers and Power Gatekeepers requires deliberate attention to promote collaboration. It is often easier to shift Ego Gatekeepers to a “we” mindset, thus improving collaboration and resource-sharing. But when the “me” focus of your Power Gatekeepers disrupts your “we” environment, encouraging them to leave for another organization is often best for everyone.
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    Megan Mayer
    Chair, NFI

    Sharing insights that create your success.

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