​Restaurants offer opportunities for children to learn self-regulation. When at a restaurant, we ideally want children to participate in discussion or politely remain quiet while adults talk.
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But we have all experienced times where our children are extra tired, extra hungry, or just plain cranky (or we are tired, hungry or cranky!). 
  
​At these times, extra tools help children self-regulate, remaining quietly content while we await and enjoy our meal. 

THE DESSERT GAME
"Necessity is the Mother of Invention."

The DESSERT GAME came from a moment of desperation, where our children were tired, hungry, and cranky. We, the parents, were equally tired, hungry, and cranky. But we were in public, at a restaurant, ready to be seated. Grasping for a way to have our children behave civilly in the restaurant, we came up with the DESSERT GAME. It was simple - and became the secret to a lifetime of pleasant meals! Here is the rule of the game

"If you can get our SERVER to compliment your excellent manners before it is time to order dessert, then you may have dessert - but you may not let the SERVER know your goal."

We did not realize how brilliant this solution was at the time - we were simply hungry, tired, and desperate. 

Here are the reasons this game works so well:

1. Dessert is an effective incentive, especially if you don't always make dessert at home.  Suddenly they are motivated!

2. Your children will WANT to say "Please" and "Thank You," without your prompting, and now care how others perceive their behavior.

3. Since the SERVER's behavior determines the outcome, your children will focus on the SERVER's:
           - response to their behavior
           - experience interacting with them
           - mood and state of mind
           - connection to them (they work hard to make eye contact)
           - ability to understand them (they speak loudly and clearly)
           - duties serving the table (they become more aware of their work)

All of these impacts developed the children's "empathy muscle." They became quicker at reading a server's mood, learning how to balance building connection and leaving someone alone. They find that they enjoy making a Server smile and making their day a little better. Since the SERVER holds the keys to the dessert kingdom - and not you, the parent - you are off the hook from having to remind them to behave as often as you would otherwise. The children take greater ownership over their behavior.

Now that our children are adults, we notice that they are well aware of workers (not just restaurant servers) and their mood or state of mind. They see workers as fellow human beings with jobs to do and lives to live. This empathy helps them enjoy greater success throughout their lives. 

This list of games has helped many over the years to help their kids behave quietly and politely at a restaurant, helping children learn how to entertain (regulate) themselves quietly.

​DESSERT GAME VIDEO COMING SOON...

​FINGER MATH VIDEO COMING SOON...

Have Ideas to Share? Please contact us at [email protected] to add your ideas to the list.