NETWORK 4 IMPACT
  • Home
  • Polite Argument
  • Gratitude Bump
  • Network for Impact
  • Speaking/Workshops
    • Polite Argument Keynote
    • Gratitude Bump Keynote
    • Network for Impact Keynote
  • On Demand Training
    • Step I: Introductions
    • Step 2. Introducing Others
    • Launch Your Teams
  • Personal Consulting
  • Books & Articles
  • Blog
  • Youth/Parents
    • Restaurant Tips for Parents
  • Resources
    • Accent Coaches
    • Books for You
    • Consultants & Specialists
  • Contact

Blog Posts

Article Recommendation: Stop Protecting “Good Guys”

8/17/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
photo credit: Miro Shnichenko
When you have lived as long as I have (please don’t ask…), the phrase “He’s a good guy” becomes a bit of a red flag. It is often used to defend someone who is good to the speaker but not so good to others, particularly those in another demographic group.  The phrase can imply that perhaps the target deserves the harassment for some reason – they must be a difficult person.

In their hbr.org article, Stop Protecting “Good Guys,” Resa E. Lewiss, MD, W. Brad Johnson, David G. Smith, and Robin Naples, M.D. articulately describe the problematic nature of the “Good Guy” defense for workplace harassment in STEMM industries, and offer suggestions for addressing the problem.  Their affirmative steps to improve situational awareness are helpful. They also recommend checking your own impulse to gaslight and behave differently.

My husband, a retired physician, taught me the phrase “check your own pulse first,” which I would add to their recommendations.  When you want to gaslight by using the “good guy” defense, ask yourself, “Why do I feel the need to defend this behavior?”  Explore your own feelings before considering the other players.  Check your own pulse first, then check theirs.

Having empathy exclusively for a harasser will hurt the person harassed, will hurt you and your organization, and will ultimately hurt the harasser.  Try to develop empathy for the “other’s” perspective, especially if you are inclined to use the “good guy” defense for what you know is problematic behavior.

When someone is good to you, that does not necessarily mean they are good to all.

On a lighter note, as a retired attorney, I noticed these authors focused on STEMM industries.   They may have left out the legal field because it is not a science, or maybe because you just don’t often hear people describe lawyers – in any circumstances – as “good guys.”  We tend to get a bad rap!
​
Take a moment to read this article and take your own pulse to see if you rely on the “Good Guy” defense when you should not.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Megan Mayer
    Chair, NFI

    Sharing insights that create your success.

    Archives

    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    June 2024
    November 2023
    August 2023
    December 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    August 2021

    Categories

    All
    Celebrations
    Communication
    Gratitude Bump
    Healthcare
    Leadership
    Network For Impact
    Networking
    Parenting
    Polite Argument
    Professional Success
    Team Building

    RSS Feed

Network for Impact and Carmel Cotillions, LLC  -  PO Box 162, Pebble Beach, California 93953  -  [email protected]   -  (949) 838-5896​
Contact us for more information or use the Calendly link to schedule a free introductory meeting.
*The terms POLITE ARGUMENT, GRATITUDE BUMP, and NETWORK FOR IMPACT are proprietary terms with trademark pending; unauthorized use is prohibited.  

Use of our services constitutes consent and permission for Network for Impact's use of your digital image for educational or marketing purposes, and waiver of any rights or claims thereto. 
Portions of our live programming will be recorded with photos and videos.  By attending these events, you consent to the use of your recorded likeness for educational and publicity purposes of Network for Impact and Carmel Cotillions, LLC, without financial compensation or editorial control. The advice provided by Network for Impact and Megan Mayer does not guarantee desired employment or salary outcomes. 
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Polite Argument
  • Gratitude Bump
  • Network for Impact
  • Speaking/Workshops
    • Polite Argument Keynote
    • Gratitude Bump Keynote
    • Network for Impact Keynote
  • On Demand Training
    • Step I: Introductions
    • Step 2. Introducing Others
    • Launch Your Teams
  • Personal Consulting
  • Books & Articles
  • Blog
  • Youth/Parents
    • Restaurant Tips for Parents
  • Resources
    • Accent Coaches
    • Books for You
    • Consultants & Specialists
  • Contact